New Year, New Goals (Not Resolutions!)

Happy Holidays! I hope all of you had a rockin' time with lots of yummy food and loved ones surrounding you.  My niece and I made our 3rd annual gingerbread house, I made my very first Christmas tree out of books, and my girls showed their holiday spirit (after many bribes of cheese.) ;)

 

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What a year! This is a time for reminiscing about all we've done and experienced over the last 12 months.  What's new, different, the same?  The next natural step is to look at the upcoming new year, with many people setting resolutions.  There doesn't seem to be a middle ground regarding resolutions: people either love or hate the idea. I've done quite a bit of thinking lately and although 2011 contained a great deal of loss for me, (I mean really, it sucked) I'm choosing to learn from it, make smarter decisions, smarter choices.  I've considered making resolutions but decided against it.  Resolutions have a tendency to fall by the wayside, and the next steps I take in my life are far too important.  So, no resolutions for me.  But, that doesn't mean no goal setting.  The difference in my approach this year is I'm not going to make big statements or plan out the entire year (okay, so one big statement: get a new job!)  I'm going to break my big goals up into baby goals and take each day, week, and month as they come.  To me, this is much more manageable and not as overwhelming. Are you a resolution setting person? 

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On the writing front:

In keeping with my baby goals idea, I've decided to participate in A Round of Words in 80 Days, also known as, ROW 80.  This is truly a great writing party challenge!

Here's the skinny:  There are 4 rounds a year, each lasting 80 days.  You create your own writing goals to fit your schedule.  You post your goals and progress twice a week on Wednesdays and Sundays.  The idea is that life is crazy and busy but it is essential to make writing a priority.  The goals you set should push you but also be reachable and if you miss a day or two of writing because of life stuff, you can double your word count the next day or two or just move onward.  

I've participated before and found the community of writers encouraging! The accountability factor is high, which is good.  I often shy away from such challenges because if I don't meet the weekly goals I feel like such a lump; but I read a post on the ROW80 website a while back (which I can't find for the life of me now) that touched on this topic and helped me see that even if I don't meet a goal one week, that I can post about that and not beat myself up.  That's what this community is all about: supporting each other during the good and bad weeks.  I know it sounds obvious but sometimes obvious needs to be shoved into my face like a some sort of custard pie with lots of whipped cream.

Rough draft of my ROW80 Round One Goals (starts January 2nd):

1) Finish my 2011 NaNo novel. (I'm this close to the ending!)

2) Write a new poem.

3) Finish one of my short stories and get it ready to send out. (This is a biggie for me as I've not sent one piece of writing out for publishing, yet.)

4) Complete online writing course that begins on January 10th.

Good luck to my fellow ROW80'ers!

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Expanding, learning, growing, and stepping outside the box.

I came across a fun book and movie challenge for the new year called The 50/50 Challenge.  You have to read 50 new books and watch 50 new movies by the end of the year.  I like the idea that you can't re-watch or re-read something and have it count toward your goal.  Reading a new book will be easy for me, but the new movie part will be a big challenge.  I love to re-watch the same movies over and over again.  I haven't seen a lot of new movies lately.  I'm excited to have some fun with this but I also want to use this challenge to expand my interests. I'm going to read books and watch movies that I would normally pass up or think I wouldn't be interested in. Any and all recommendations are welcome!

  

If you're still reading, I wish each one of you much success, health and happiness for the new year!  May 2012 be the best year of your life, thus far.

Happy New Year!  Cheers!

A Million Little Pieces (OK, just 1,254)

Writing and reading can be listed as things that help when you are stressed, especially for me. But, sometimes stressors can only be helped with something mechanical.  During the evenings of my last few days of work, I was experiencing a myriad of emotions and a bit overwhelmed.  I happened upon a small project that did wonders to help keep my mind and hands occupied and distracted.

Of course, during my first day home, I sat on my Kindle and broke it.  Sigh. Thankfully, it is still under warranty and they promptly sent me a knew one after reassuring me that I wouldn't lose any of my precious books.

Such a klutz! 

The project I'm talking about is Lego's Millennium Falcon! Yes, I'm a geek and proud of it.  I love Lego, especially their adorable minifigures, as witnessed below. (Thanks for the decorating tip, KC!)  The only thing I've actually bought for myself on this shelf (aside from the books) is Hagrid. The rest were gifts. ;)  Guess my geekiness isn't much of a secret.

Here's the box, front and back:

"Oh, this will be easy," I say. "Won't take but a couple of hours."  Not so much.

Play by play in photos:

Bags upon bags! Shakespeare, my Betta, was a tremendous help. :)

R2-D2 and Ewok Paploo not included in the set.

I admit, I'm not the best photographer.  Still pretty cool, huh?

May the force be with you!  ;)

Movin' On Up

As mentioned in my last post, December 14th was my last day at my job due to downsizing.  It doesn't quite seem real at the moment.  It feels like any Sunday would.  I did all my laundry, cleaned my apartment and am ready for the week. Except this week won't require me getting up and driving an hour to work everyday.  I guess I didn't have to do all my chores today, I could've spread them out; but it's Sunday and that's what I always do on Sundays...  

It is very real when you hand in your laptop and badge: symbols of employment, comfort, stability, security, and pride.  When I arrive at the security desk on Wednesday, the counter is covered with black laptop bags and brown confidentiality envelopes.  I freeze in mid-step and stand looking at them; so many of us are leaving this day.

The whole day I force myself to be present; I want to remember all the "lasts". The last time I use my badge to get into the parking lot and building.  The last time I dial into a teleconference.  The last time I'll be next to and around the corner from my friends.   I hug my friends.  I cry a lot, there's no way round it. The tears flow as I say goodbye to the security guard and sit at the red light.   The light turns green and I turn left, this chapter of my life reaching its conclusion.

I am excited to see what will be the title of my next chapter.  I hope it’s a doozy. 

"Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul - and sings the tunes without the words - and never stops at all." Emily Dickinson

"Don't give up on me, baby!"

I love the song "For The First Time" by The Script and the lyrics fit so nicely with how I feel about my paranormal WIP. :)

National Novel Writing Month is speeding toward us! Er, I should say, we are speeding toward it!  Anywho, only a few weeks left to prep for it.  I've been using First Draft in 30 Days by Karen S. Wiesner as a guide.  You've probably already guessed: I will be writing within the same world my paranormal WIP is set in, with the same characters.  I know, I know, I've been writing/revising/chopping up this MS for forever but I can't seem to let go/give up on it.  I love the characters and believe in the fact that they have a story to tell, I just don't have it quite right yet.

I've considered signing up for the 4th and final round of ROW80 as part of my NaNo prep but decided not to.  I think ROW80 is an ingenious idea and really helps keep you on schedule with your writing; however, there's too much going on at home that often needs to take precedence and when I don't reach those weekly goals, I feel guilty.  I don't need anything else in my life right now to make me feel bad or create negative energy.   I admit, I'm a bit fragile at the moment.

I'm choosing to make the most of the time and energy I do have on prepping for NaNo.  I'm working on completing those character sketches, really getting into their heads, getting that plot into shape, deciding on which characters I will be focusing on to ensure I don't have too many in the story with such loud voices that you can't tell which is the MC.  It's almost like starting a brand new novel, really.  I am this close to having a working title and plan to have one by the time NaNo begins. (You'd think I'd have one by now!)

I've chosen pink to be the color of this novel.  I got this idea from author Kim Harrison, who is an amazing storyteller and just happens to color code all of her novels.

Right now I'm using this mug:

Once NaNo begins, I'll be switching to my Witch's Brew mug, or something of similar size. :)

NaNo is launching their new site tomorrow, go check it out.

Fall is my favorite time of year! Welcome fall, welcome October, and welcome pumpkins!

Rebuilding... Redecorating... Renewal of Positive Thinking

Not one drop of water has ever made its way into my basement in the 37 years we have owned this house.  Thank you, Irene, for ruining our record.  It has not been an easy road and I'll admit, positive thinking has taken a back seat the last several weeks.  I must now rebuild the floors and walls.  I am happy to say that I've decided to use this as an excuse to redecorate.  It will take months to put my apartment back together, but I am going to make it fun and look prettier and more full of life than it was before.

Reemerge - Positive Thinking!  It's all about attitude, right?

And because pictures can show you better than I could explain..   I present to you: Hurricane Irene's visit to mi casa.  (Please excuse the mess!  A lot of things got ruined and everything had to be shuffled around and stacked off the floor.)

All of my photos were under my bed.  I'd forgotten they were there until the moment of the flood. 

Took over an hour and two people to get the water off the bathroom floor.

The white paneling was covering the support beam.  Less than a week and mold had started to grow on it.

Chaos! I used a plastic drop cloth I had from painting a few years ago to cover the floors and protect all the little paws I have running around my house.

I pulled the rug up by myself.  It was a bear of a job!  Then I tried to pull the wood floor up....

Getting this small piece up took me HOURS!

Continued feeble attempt.  This is when I realized I was not qualified. :)

More chaos.  

We cut a small piece of the bottom of the walls to check for mold.  Present.  Had to cut all around the room. Pretty, huh?

Hired professionals to pull up the floor.  I can now say the term "professionals" for this company is to be used loosely.  I won't recount the long list of things they missed or broke, but you can see the rip in the screen window in this photo.  They completely bent the track and we couldn't get the window open/closed.

Wood floor up.  Fans and dehumidifier doing their thing.  Be gone, mold!!

Keeping in mind that I am being downsized from my job in just a few short months, this rebuilding/redecorating operation will be slow and creative. :o)

On a utterly positive note, Bella is doing fantastic!  She's no longer a conehead and her skin is almost all healed.  Her left tear duct is not working properly, but it's fixable with cream and artificial tears for a couple of months.  Her hair will either not grow back at all or grow back black.

The Post I've Been Avoiding

You can't choose whom you fall in love with.  When those big brown eyes find yours and barrel through to your heart and those soft as silk ears slide across your cheek, you're done for!  A goner! At least, I was!  On July 2nd, this sweet little puppy came home with me and has since wormed her way into all of our hearts while simultaneously sprouted horns!  Despite the horns, or maybe because of them, Phoebe fits right into my family and already loves her big sister, Bella. 

"I'm sweet and innocent, I promise." Hah!

"Pardon me, I need a nap.  I'm a growing puppy, ya know."

"What?"

First night home and first picture together.

So small and sweet...

The horns are hiding under her ears.

Four days after Phoebe blessed my life, Bella underwent a CT scan in which they found a large mass. They explained to me that whether it was malignant or benign it still acted malignant because of its location. A biopsy was done and three days later the results were in; Bella had a nasal adenocarcinoma.  Basically a large cancerous tumor all along the left side of her snout and behind her left eye.  

Devastation. Disbelief. Anger. 

"Good news, it hasn't spread." Yes, that was phenominal news. Not so good news: surgery's not an option. Once again the location plays a major factor. More good news: we can fight it with radiation treatment. I'm told she's a great candidate and there's an 80 to 85% chance the radiation will get rid of the tumor, however, nothing can get rid of the cancer. It will eventually grow back, but it can take a very long time. I was in!  If it could help her, add years to her life and, most importantly, improve the quality of her life, I would do anything in my power.  And so, we began treatment the very next day.

Every single day has been an adventure!  The treatments were done Monday through Friday at 8AM.  Every morning I drove her to the vet for her treatment, then drove to work and then picked her up after work. When I picked her up after the first radiation treatment, I made a complete fool of myself in the waiting room. They had said they needed to shave her face but for some reason I had it in my head they would only shave the left side of her face.  I was wrong.  Her face and her neck were shaved and she had sharpie marks to show exactly where to direct the radiation. I was not prepared and I think reality hit me hard.  When I finally gained my composure, everyone was either looking at me or had their head down, trying to decrease my embarrassment, I'm sure. Then a few days later there were white lines, too. I learned a new use for Whiteout.  See the white lines on her nose?  Yep, Whiteout.

Only a few days into her treatment regimen.  No side-effects yet.

Three and a half weeks and 18 treatments later, I am now dealing with the aftermath. Although the side-effects are temporary, they are awful! It has killed a small part of me not just seeing her this way, but hearing  her cry. Thankfully the pain has substantially subsided and she's more itchy than anything else. I will post pictures when she's all healed up and hopefully feeling better than she has in a long time. She is incredibly strong and her spirit glows brighter than the sun.

Once her face, eyes and mouth are healed, the only lasting side effect, hopefully, will be aesthetic. She has always been beautiful to me and I have a bond with her that is hard to explain. After watching her fight this, how amazing she has been, how strong and sweet and lovely and patient she has been, I feel even more connected to her and I am inspired by her spirit.

Taken a few days before we got the results. Pretty girl.

I'm also inspired by Phoebe's gentle and loving nature toward her big sister.  Animals are amazing creatures; they enrich your life and make you a better person.