Hello,
my name is Jennifer and I lost everything to Hurricane Sandy. Ha.
Welcome to my 12-step program.
I
asked myself, where do I begin? With the worst part? But there are
so many “worst” parts. Do I talk about that night, what it was like, how it changed
me forever? Do I talk about the next morning, when I got my first
post-storm look at my precious space in this world? Do I start with the
weeks that followed, the cleanup, the shock, the confusion, the disbelief; the
devastation?
I
mean really, where does one begin with such a story? It is overwhelming
now just thinking about how to convey the horror I went through, and the
continuing shockwaves, but without creating pity on the reader's part. I
don't want pity. I received pity from some people and it was awful.
Although I was and still am an injured bird, I don't want anyone to feel
sorry for me, just to take great care with me.
I
guess that's an important point right now with all the natural disasters that
have been happening.
Don't
pity the people in Oklahoma. Don't pity anyone. If you can’t help but feel it, don’t show
them. Love them, support them, be kind to them, and show them every ounce
of respect you can muster. Give what you
can emotionally and financially but remember that even though they may have
lost everything they had in this world, they haven't lost their pride. Know how hard it is for them to accept those
peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and bottles of water. Know how hard it
is for them to take the used clothing you're offering because all they have
left is the now dirty shirt they are wearing. Know that it kills a little
part of them to have to ask for a pair of shoes because they have none.
Yes,
they lived. They still have their life
and believe you me, they know they’re lucky.
But that doesn’t stop the deep heartache of losing everything they
had. All of their belongings that
represented special moments in their lives, all of their photos, things you
cannot replace. Things are things, they
understand that, but some “things” represent more than just a pair of shoes: independence,
strength, safety, and humanity.
To
accept help from loved ones isn’t always easy; to accept help from strangers
can feel impossible.
“Thank
you” becomes currency because it’s all you have and it’s impossible to express
that even though you feel shamed by taking, you are also humbly grateful.
We
all want to say, “You’re okay, you’re safe, and that’s all that matters.” Even I say it, because I know deep down it’s
true. But after that moment of survival, begins the real struggle, the hard,
unavoidable path survivors are forced to take.
It is not a path I would wish on anyone.
So,
yes, I know that I am blessed that I am here, that my dogs are safe, but I also
lost my entire past.
I'll take the lessons, I'll learn, and I'll do better.
"It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything."
- Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club
