As mentioned in my last post, December 14th was my last day at my job due to downsizing. It doesn't quite seem real at the moment. It feels like any Sunday would. I did all my laundry, cleaned my apartment and am ready for the week. Except this week won't require me getting up and driving an hour to work everyday. I guess I didn't have to do all my chores today, I could've spread them out; but it's Sunday and that's what I always do on Sundays...
It is very real when you hand in your laptop and badge: symbols of employment, comfort, stability, security, and pride. When I arrive at the security desk on Wednesday, the counter is covered with black laptop bags and brown confidentiality envelopes. I freeze in mid-step and stand looking at them; so many of us are leaving this day.
The whole day I force myself to be present; I want to remember all the "lasts". The last time I use my badge to get into the parking lot and building. The last time I dial into a teleconference. The last time I'll be next to and around the corner from my friends. I hug my friends. I cry a lot, there's no way round it. The tears flow as I say goodbye to the security guard and sit at the red light. The light turns green and I turn left, this chapter of my life reaching its conclusion.
I am excited to see what will be the title of my next chapter. I hope it’s a doozy.
"Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul - and sings the tunes without the words - and never stops at all." Emily Dickinson
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